Cashmere Queen

The end of November holds a special place in the hearts of me and my Highland girlfriends and no, this isn’t some sort of patriotic salute to St Andrew’s Day or the culmination of the costly Homecoming Scotland celebrations. The sole reason for our unstinting affection for this time of year is down to one thing and one thing only: the annual warehouse sale of world famous cashmere house Johnstons of Elgin!

Every year, this genuine clearance sale sends hundreds of women in the north of Scotland quite giddy at the prospect of cut price cashmere – yours truly included. Held for 8 days only in an enormous marquee behind the woollen mill, spellbound customers sift fastidiously through the rails and tables groaning with the glorious goods, black bin liners at the ready for their lush loot.

And what loot! Indulgent throws are half price at £140, fabulous tailored coats and luxurious cashmere lounge pants go for £120, velvet-soft sweaters for £60, silky-smooth scarves for £35 and cosy gloves a mere tenner. There’s a host of fine woollens too, from dapper tweed shooting jackets to lovely lamb’s wool rugs.

On Friday, I was on a mission to find plus-4s for the farmer, an early Christmas present for an annual shoot he attends in the Borders. Elbowing my way through the throng, I headed straight for the tweeds, found one pair in his size, double checked the measurements with a measuring tape (seasoned shopper, me!) and stuffed them happily into my bin liner before heading for the rugs and scarves.

Yet in spite of my due diligence, the plus-4s were a tad small for the farmer; all the more disappointing since it’s a 100-mile round trip to Elgin from the farm...

Anxious to exchange the trousers before they sold out, I trundled back through again yesterday with my sisters, Mum and Gran. The slight flaw in my plan was that Johnstons don’t do exchanges until the 5th day of the sale... However, I managed to convince the security man that I genuinely couldn’t come back next week so really had to do the exchange yesterday.

He eventually conceded I could swap the trousers – a like-for-like exchange – only for me to find that there were no plus-4s left in the size I needed. Explaining my predicament, Mr Security sighed loudly and said he supposed I could exchange them for something of equal value.

Sifting through the tables, I found a beautiful cream lamb’s wool throw with navy stripes and fringing – perfect! The exchange was done and I left happy.

Last night, showing off the throw to the farmer, spreading it out fully for the first time, I noticed half the fringing was missing along one side - disaster! So unbelievably, it looks like I’m going to have to make a third trip through to exchange my exchange.

Naturally, this is most inconvenient not to mention costly – my fuel consumption will soon cancel out any cashmere savings – but more pressingly, what am I meant to say to Mr Security? I said I was going to be out of the country this week. I may have to go in disguise...